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First, let’s see where the word “negative” comes from and what it really means. Antoine de Saint-Exupéry said,
“Words are the source of misunderstanding.”
Using the wrong words in language often leads to confusion, for ourselves and others. The word “negative” traces back to Latin. It derives from the Latin verb “negare,” which means “to deny, refuse, say no.”
The important question we need to ask here is, do we sometimes need to say no or refuse something? Of course, we do.
I can explain this with a mathematical example. In a coordinate system, to define the position of a 3D object in space, we have three coordinates: X, Y, and Z. Each one shows two different directions: for example X define right and left directions. To identify these different directions, we use two different symbols in front of each number: + and –. They only describe the position of each number on the X coordinate system. For a 3D object, we also have the Y and Z coordinates in two different directions.
We use the numbers with + and — symbols to define the position of an object in space. If we need to move the object to the left, we increase the numbers with the — symbol.
In life, we define our position with the power of our thoughts! Without the — symbol that defines the left direction, we cannot define our position in life. Everything you think about and want to express is positioned using this imaginary coordinate system.
In today’s society, the system teaches us that if you have negative thoughts, you are not a good person. From a mathematical and geometric point of view, they want you to move more to the right side, their direction (+), but you may prefer to move more to the left side (–). So, if you see the whole idea of negative thoughts, it’s just helping you to define your position and your point of view on a subject.
If your position in life makes you feel unhappy, it means you need to increase a little (+) positive thought or a little (–) negative thought to redefine your position for the better.
In life, sometimes based on our past experiences or the society we live in, we define our position and lifestyle with the good (+) and bad (–) values that are valid in this society, country, or your own family, which is a small society! If you move to another society, country, or lifestyle, they will always have different values. It doesn’t matter how small or big the difference is; it’s just different. If you don’t change your position and values in the new society, you won’t be as valid as in your old society. It doesn’t mean that the new place or people you’re involved with are bad or good; it’s just a different coordinate system. So, you have only two choices: You keep your coordinate or you change it. Each choice has its pros and cons. It’s not as easy as geometry because all the values that define your position and point of view are deeply anchored in you.
You have different choices:
You declare war on yourself and start to refine and redefine some of your old values to synchronize more with the new society, resulting in both you and the new society feeling more comfortable.
You don’t want to change your point of view at any cost. In this case, you are in constant inner conflict with the new society, and because the new society has more people, you feel disadvantaged, but it’s not true.
You want to keep your values so much that you are not ready to change them at all. In this case, the question is, why don’t you go back to your old society that appreciates your position?
As with everything in life, there is nothing absolute and 100%. Everything is a ratio. In the new society, you will always have some advantages and disadvantages, just like in the old one.
Our planet works/exists/functions with physical laws, such as gravity. It doesn’t matter if you like it or not; that’s the law of this planet. If you don’t like it, search for another planet or, when you create your planet, set up different laws. For now, it is better to accept it.
Sometimes we can use physical laws to understand better. Based on Newton’s Second Law of Motion:
Newton’s Second Law of Motion says that to change the way something is moving, you need to apply a force. This change could be speeding up, slowing down, or changing direction. The amount of change depends on two things:
How much force you use.
How heavy the object is.
It means if you want to change, you always need force and power. As human beings, our brains tend to save energy, so it is very normal that we don’t like change because our brain needs to spend energy for that, and it doesn’t like it. To solve this problem, if you want to change your point of view but it seems too hard or impossible, you need to find the right motivation.
I explain it with an example:
Imagine that there is a 70 or 80-year-old single man who loves to learn the Chinese language! It seems so hard and impossible to him until he falls in love with a 50-year-old beautiful Chinese woman who cannot speak a word of English, and she has a limited time to spend with him. He has very limited time to learn Chinese to express his feelings for her. With the power of love, he finds enough reason and motivation to overcome the brain’s laziness and change his point of view to love this change. Sometimes we need to trick our brain (to hack our brain) to be able to achieve what we desire.
In this story, we can use Newton’s Second Law metaphorically to represent the motivation and effort needed to achieve the goal of learning Chinese.
Here’s how we can define the variables:
F = m x a
F (Force): This represents the overall motivation or drive the man has to learn Chinese. It’s the combined effect of his love for the woman and his desire to communicate with her.
m (Mass): This represents the challenges or obstacles he faces, such as his age, the difficulty of the language, and any initial mental resistance to learning.
a (Acceleration): We can relate “a” to how beautiful the woman is in his eyes. This beauty, as perceived by him, amplifies his motivation and makes his effort more effective in overcoming the resistance.
